redefine failure become a success

“Why do I always Fail?!?” 

Contrary to popular belief, failure can and often is, a good thing.

How you view failure controls how difficult it is for you to pick yourself up afterwards.

Most of us are ‘taught’ from an early age, that failure is a hurtful and demeaning feeling, to be avoided at all costs.

What’s surprising, is that the most successful people, are usually the ones who’ve had more failures than anyone else. This is because they have a different response to failure than the more common one.

They see a failure as an opportunity to learn what went wrong. Then they use that important learning experience to improve. Whereas most people see failure as the final nail in the coffin of that experience, and then give up.

This abundance-mentality isn’t only restricted to the business world though.  In relationships for example, they realize that not every person is going to be right for them and sometimes they’re going to be rejected.

But, again they see it not as a failure in themselves, but as another step up the relationship ladder. Another learning experience.

How to Re-frame Failure:

A good way to change your perspective on these ‘failures’ is to ask yourself some questions…..

  • What’s good about this?
  • What can I learn from this?
  • What about this situation, can I improve on next time?
  • Will this ‘failure’ really matter next year?

Now, I’m not saying that it will be easy. In the beginning it will be difficult to remember to ask these questions. You’ll have work on your skills to sharpen them. But, like everything, the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it.

Decide that failure, or rejection isn’t something entirely negative that you can’t possibly come back from. And DON’T start to see yourself as a failure. A failure of any type is when something you tried didn’t work out the way you expected. Always remember that it was the ACT that failed, because it needed to be refined. You, as a person didn’t fail, only your expectation failed.

What Next?:

If you want to develop yourself generally, check out my previous post which’ll give you some great ideas to move forward with.

The more often you can reframe your experiences, the better you’ll become at choosing the correct path. You’ll still fail….. everyone fails! Just remember to see it as a learning experience, then try again. Eventually you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.

By redefining failure in your mind, it’ll lessen the negative emotional impact and the fear.


By seeing it simply as feedback and by listening to the advice that it gives you, you will improve. And, by redefining the failure as being the act that’s at fault, not you personally, your level of confidence won’t take a drastic drop every time you fail, or fear failing.

Steve, who's also the Founder of Teen Anxiety UK, has been writing books and articles about various aspects of Psychology since 2006.

For the last five years, he's main focus has been in helping build confidence and self-esteem.

His formal qualifications include Clinical Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, NLP and CBT.

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